Today, my co-worker came back in after her bereavement for the death of her father. As a management team, we all meet daily at 9am; I ran into her after the meeting was over and she was crying – she said she didn’t think she would be so overwhelmed today. All I could say is “the first day back sucks”. What else could I say? I don’t think “the next three to six months are going to be just like this, so get used to it” would have been helpful. Or how about “if it makes you feel any better, my mom will be gone 8 months this week and standing here talking to you makes me want to cry like it happened last week”? Yeah, probably not a good idea too, even though it’s the truth.
Even now, 8 months later, I feel like it’s my first day back. I remember how I felt sitting in that meeting, sitting at this desk, walking these halls thinking “please God, don’t let anyone ask how I am”, and then feeling grateful when someone did. And the more I talk to people the more I learn that what I feel today will never go away. There will always be times that I feel like I want to cry my eyes out because in my world, it feels like she just died. I feel like I just stood by her casket in the middle of the church, rubbed it gently with my hand, and cried in front of all of our family and friends. That’s how I feel today.
No comments:
Post a Comment