It’s one of those days when I’m crying and I don’t really know why. Oh the fun. This morning I was listening to a cd one of my friends made for me and a U2 song came on…that was Donna’s favorite band, she died 5 years ago. So the music started and I started to cry. Then the duet that Robert Downey, Jr and Sting did on Every Breath You Take came on and, again, on came the tears. I have no idea why. I’m such an emotional wreck today and I don’t really know why. There’s a part of me that is very happy – my relationship is in a good place, my daughter is doing GREAT in school, my dad is doing okay right now, we’re adopting cats this weekend, all is well in that part. And then there’s that other part. The other part that just makes me sad, the part that’s disappointed over so much that I can’t change, the part that is just so sad, that’s the part that makes me want to curl up on the couch with a box of donuts, fashion magazines, Arrow on the TV (good LORD he is hot), and a fuzzy blanket. Alone. So I can cry if I want, I can be mad if I want, I can just be. That part of me, on days like today, is very loud in my head and yells “go the F home already”. Even on days like today when I can’t. I have too much to do, a class to teach, and not enough vacation time to use any way.
How do you go through your day, your life, when all you want to do is be on your couch alone with some donuts? I can’t even pretend that’s where I am….so I can’t take a mental vacation, that’s for sure. Ugh. I really want those donuts right now, too.
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