Rob comes home today after a very long 12 days away from home. I missed him, I really did. I enjoyed some of the alone time – watching my tv shows, eating cake without sharing, sleeping all night without being woken up by snoring or a repeatedly snoozed alarm. But I missed ‘him’ so it’ll be nice to have him around again. Emily and I, overall, did pretty well if I do say so myself. I took her to this park on Saturday that my parents always used to take us to; in the summer we would go there for a BBQ at least once. I remember taking our dog one time and she hated it – you couldn’t put her in the car or she thought she was going to the doctor’s so that was a not so fun experience. But Saturday was a lot of fun. We went to the zoo – albeit not all that great anymore – and we walked on the new boardwalk by the lake, and Emily picked up huge rocks and moved them around. She had fun and I’m happy she enjoyed a place that meant a lot to me when I was a kid and is still important to me as part of my history.
Walking around the park made me remember what it used to look like, and the fun I had there when I was a kid. Going to the zoo and feeding the deer was one of my favorite things to do there. They still have them and one of the first animals Emily saw there was a baby deer, which was pretty cool. It almost made me feel like my mom was there; the deer were her favorite animals at the zoo aside from the bear. He was big, slumberous and lazy and she loved him.
I would give just about anything to know that she was with us at the park that day. Hell, I would give just about anything to know that she’s with us anywhere. The zoo, the park, the living room. I don’t care. But I know, I won’t know. I have a feeling that it’s on purpose, too. If she is around, if she is with us, she doesn’t want us to know. She doesn’t want ME to know, because I want to know so badly. Spiteful, even if death. That wasn’t a positive trait before and it certainly isn’t now.
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